pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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