Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
