No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
