Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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