She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
