Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
