I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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