I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
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