Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
