just come out here and I will go home with you...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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