your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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