My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Houston, we have a blender
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
