We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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