i would punch a child for taco bell
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
