He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
