i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
