You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
