i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
