you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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