waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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