DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
