Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
