oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
What drink are we having for lunch?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
