I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
