I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
