i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
