wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
