Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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