I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
