so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
