3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
