at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
