party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
