..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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