yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize