On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
