can we get nightvision for the apartment?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?