So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
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im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???