Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.