I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
