If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
