Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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