when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
