I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize