I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
