I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize