Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
