is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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