i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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