Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
