chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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