Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
