based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
this hospital has no fireball
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
