This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
