party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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