Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
