??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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