in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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