I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
