I cockslap morals
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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