cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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