She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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